September Winos!

Hello Winos!

Look at me, getting all caught up. This time with a very efficient, wine-stained, single side of 8x10 white paper and some veeeerry small writing. Check out our ponderings on wine in September, when the reds became a little more popular again (silly white, thinking it can get on top for longer than three months. Tsk tsk.)

Wait--before I get to this, let me pour myself a glass of wine.

That's much better. White though, it's all I have on hand. (Thirsty Lizard Australian white--a whole litre of eco-friendly and delicious for just $12. Just saying.)

Ok here we go!

ROUND 1:

Wine 1: Julie
Zinfatuation Zinfandel, Napa Valley $16

We said:

Chistmas
Grapey
ashen
russian orthodox sacrament wine (it's good!)
smooth black stones
David Bowie's bloody nose
Seduced by an older woman in a red satin robe
Dusty velvet curtain, like from Beauty and the Beast

We liked this one. Strong, bold, with a definite old-world flavour and just a hint of sacredness. Yes to this wine!

WINE 2:
Kaelyn: Oak Bay Pinot Noir, Okanagan Valley, $20

We said

Grass
brushfire
sharp
bland
unpleasant odor
embarassing (for Chris, who brought the wine)
Sour
Throat itchy
sandpaper kiss
a sock full of quarters (hitting you)
plastic rubies in sand

Well, this one was not ok with us. It was almost a physical assault, we hated it so much. Julie wins!

ROUND 2

Wine 3:
Johnny
Copper Moon Shiraz $9

Sweet and unoaked
crisp and pure
tongue cluster bomb
pink elastic boa
Swings when you are a kid
Swings when you are a kid! Also!
Licorice for grownups
sundail
windy grass
spongy
festive
candied cherry

This one brought out a bit of the child in us, and got us in the mood to eat candy and play. All good things in a wine. Sneaky winos, though--you are catching on that if you bring Copper Moon, it will always do well, and you'll only spend $9. Please do not take this as advice. Johnny wins.

Wine 4: Alla
Espelt Saulo, Spain, $15

We said:

Oil spill
royal purple
rotted grapes
smell of credenza
jalapenos
christmas spice
mulled wine
fuzzy aquedut
back patio candlelight
My grandmother's living room, where I'm not allowed to touch anything
Cherry fuzzy
room dividers

Well this one was okay, definitely strong, and bold, but a touch inaccessible, and we didn't really like that very much here at Winos United.

Wine 5: Chris
Saturna Pinot Noir $22

We said:
Stained glass
Getting high with my English prof
Blackcurrants
Thinks he's black
Not so good
The poem "It's good to be here" by RC Weslowski when he says, "It is SO NOT GOOD to be here!"
Blackberry
gummi bear
deja vu
satin sheets
sour cranberries
THe inside of my cheeks have been stitched to a blood blister
dandelions over a raspberry field.

Well, not all of us hated this one. Or at least, not as much as we hated the other one. Decanting may have helped in both of their cases. Anyway, Chris wins, saving him slightly from the embarassment of bringing Kaelyn's wine, which we hated even MORE.

ROUND 3

Wine 6: Kyle
Finca Flichman Oak Aged Malbec $8

We said:

This is the black ink of wine. In that there is no true black ink, only very dark blue. This is the mythical black.
Far superior to my previous wine.
Anticlimax
acetone
movator
banal
polished stone
parsnip
lethargic metaphor
grey pepper
saltwater pool

We liked this one better than the last one, but still not as much. There was some pepper and a definite hint of chemicals, which is not a great quality in a wine. Strangely, a few of us drink this one regularly, and had NO IDEA how much we would hate it. It was a bit shocking, for Cristina especially. I blame the oak age of the malbec--not a good idea, Finca.

Wine 2: Cristina
Wally's Hut Shiraz, Australia, $9

We said:
Dapper
Patrick Swayze's donated liver
cleaning supplies (in a good way)
licking an oak tree
Eating whole pomegranate seeds
black strawberries
When dragons attack
boom in my mouth
back of the tongue
waterslide
seeds
brown sugar

There was something earthy, easy drinking, but complex all at once about this one. Plus cheap! We looooved it. Cristina wins!

ROUND 4

Wine 8: Andy
Joseph Drouhin Burgundy $36

We said:

Toothpaste
Cottage sheets
Sweetened alcoholic koolaid (been a long time)
Corrugated velvet
The fire under which male chickens are destroyed in the factory
unremarkable
water cooler
year old sunbleached bones
Superfluous
The yapping yesmen circling around the real wine

Harsh words for such an expensive wine! We found it too sweet, a little chemically, and somehow also dry on the tongue. Perhaps more decanting would have helped this one? In any case we did not like it.

Wine 9: Meghan
Black Tower German white $14

We said:

Sugarcane and frape juice
kiwifruit
Pretend you like it
Doing the namaste
bronze lullabye
14 years old
silvery sweet
Sweet SOB
fuzzy peaches
sour keys without the sour salt

Well this one was okay with us--but fuzzy peach sweet. If you like a candy wine (or perhaps are 14 years old) this is your wine. Meghan wins.

ROUND 5

Wine 1:
Fernando:
Mythical select white Okanagan valley np

We said:
Raspberry tire
straight up takes like bee hair
dirty windex runoff
lemonparty
gym show apple juice
what white wine is supposed to taste like
so many things are happening in my mouth!

Well we liked this one, I think, but it was hard to read Cristina's writing.

Wine 2: Lisa
Obikwa Chenin Blanc, South Africa

We said:
melted popsicles
an afternoon drinking wine on a patio in Montreal (ie. nondescript)
limeade
tart
lemonade with ice on a very hot day (after the ice has melted)
myeaahhhh
vodka

Okay, i think we were getting a little drunk by this point. We liked it fine, I think, but found it a little on the thin side.

No one wins! Because we stopped paying attention!

ROUND 6

WIne 1: Sean
Ruffino Orvieto [...] $16

Toast before I was gluten intolerant
Someone I should like, but don't
Water in the same glass as orange juice
Ashen wormwood
The opening
Sweet nothing.

We weren't quite sure about this one. We felt like it was almost really good, or good with the potential of gas, bloating, and general irritation.

Wine 2: Angelo
Okanagan Vineyards Chardonnay, OK valley, $9

We said:

Marshmallows
forgotten kids in class
special needs
simple

This one wasn't so bad, but seemed a little too simple for some, and too much altogether for those of us incapable of drinking any more. Let's say Angelo wins, just because he was visiting from Toronto.

Another highly successful Winos night! Stayed tuned, dear readers, for more wine reviews you can understand (or maybe can't....)