After a long and arduous hiatus, the Winos got together again for another meeting. A few newbies joined us, and I found myself doing "the demonstration" over and over again, to the utter delight of RC, a long time Wino who likes to drink whisky and make faces because he doesn't like red wine. He's one of my favourite winos, needless to say.
Here's what we discovered after blind taste tests of 10 different wines. We started with the whites:
FIRST CONTENDERS: SONJA VS. HERSELF
Sonja brought: White Bear Okanagan Riesling, $13
We thought:
-crystal clear
-lavender soda
-wine chilled in a stainless steel water bottle
-sharp tang of clarity
SONJA WINS! against herself, but we thought it was pretty good!
NEXT CONTENDERS: KAREN VS. EVIL PATRICK
Evil Patrick brought: Mignard Sparkling Grape Juice $3.25 (NON-ALCOHOLIC--we are idiots and assumed it was real wine. Sneaky, sneaky bastard.)
We thought:
-like being cuddled on a soft couch. With kittens.
-Sparkling honey
-watered down molasses
-apple juice gone kind of bad
-Fort Langley licorice.
-a family reunion on the apple farm
-preteens puking in the barn
Karen brought: Smoking Loon Viognier from California $17
We thought:
-gravol. The chewable kind I used to have when i'd get carsick on long trips.
-freshly cut grass
-aspartame
-allergy medicine
-thick spicy towel
-childhood basement
-moose musk
-yellow chalk
-cotton
AND THE WINNER IS: miraculously, EVIL PATRICK! Somehow, the smoking loon was so gross that non-alcoholic, sickly sweet sparking grape juice won over it. Karen insists it was good the first time she had it--could be a case of not quite chilled enough. Still, thumbs down, all around.
NEXT CONTENDERS: ALLA VS. DUNCAN
Alla brought: Cycles Gladiator California Syrah, based on those old Parisian flying bicycle posters. $16. I loved it.
We thought:
-smoking lemon ash
-plums
-an unopened parachute
-homemade sauna
-day old socks stuffed with rose petals. In a good way.
-Fireplace; oral sex; licorice.
-Rain on a fruit tree.
-Sugary mesquite
-sweet dragon skin.
Duncan brought: Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais, France, $16
We thought:
-friends with my nose hairs. It's really getting up there.
-tuesday night casual dining.
-thick licorice
-the plan gone sour
-humbucking--a trick my uncles use to talk on and on about something like they know what they are talking when they don't have any idea. Bullshit.
-checkers at the old age home.
-lonesome raisin grape-unplugged
-smooth designer adult diaper (unused)
-green tonsil attack
AND THE WINNER IS: again, shockingly, though not by much: DUNCAN!
NEXT CONTENDERS: MEGHAN VS. JULIE
Meghan brought: Inca Cabernet Malbec from Argentina $14.60
We thought:
-thought provoking. Not casual dining.
-Stomach ulcers.
-blanket wine tang.
-spicy love button.
-greedy squirrel
-rolling around on a furry carpet
-a really good date with someone you've been with for a long time
-all natural cleaners in the foxy house sink
-barroom hot wings
-lactose intolerance intolerance
-electric eel
-purple velvet puddle
Julie brought: Just Good Wine; Jargon Pinot Noir from California $15
We thought:
-This is the wine that would be served to me if I were being given diamonds. Smooth, charming, clear about its intentions, but still, I feel a little out of place. I don't really like diamonds.
-Overbaked pumpkin pie, but not pumpkin pie
-elastic monkey hair OR Arizona brush fire
-awkward coworker
-an incomplete pass in football. It just doesn't get there.
-Don Juan of the vineyard.
-Parisian crystal cult
-cubic zirconium
-pumpkin pie with Nicolas Cage
-desert sunrise
-velvet cedar
-an angry referee's delayed call
AND THE WINNER IS: again, a bit surprisingly, but narrowly, JULIE!
NEXT CONTENDERS: TOMASZ VS. ANDY
Tomasz brought: Errazuriz Merlot from Chile $15
We thought:
-duct tape holding up a ceiling tile
-freshly painted rented cottage
-ottoman
-dangerous
-high school
-electric light orchestra
-fundraising for prostate cancer with Hannibal Lecter
-coconut water desert oasis
-unstable
-sweet cherry pie
Andy brought: Wolf Blass Cabernet Sauvignon from Australia $19
We thought:
-blackberries with a personality
-metallic syrup
-brazen
-lethargic duncan
-craisin
-medieval armor. If you licked it.
-Sunday rainshower.
-rusty razorblade
-blackberry with a magnesium glow
-heavy duty receding desert
AND THE WINNER IS: ANDY!
NEXT CONTENDERS: i forgot to write this down so let's say ROGER VS BRENT
Brent brought: Domaine Marhwlah Cahor France $23.90 (yep, it's that time in the evening, can't read my own writing. Brent, help me out??)
We thought:
-band aid smell
-heavy load to bear
-prawns in a pickle jar
-aloe vera
-antiseptic [TRANSLATION: ANTISEPTIC! thanks Brent]
-Nail polish remover
-jelly donut doing the seawall
-struggling
-fruit fantasia [anthony. So positive!]
-Mixing a cake while hanglingling. [translation: HANGLIDING! again, thanks Brent]
-forced guitar lessons
Roger brought: [Brandless] Cabernet Sauvignon from France. Again, help me out, I was too drunk to remember this:
We thought:
-stuffed crocodile
-peaches
-lacunae
-bitter beginning
-nicolai tessla's first kiss--something that's never happened before
-wanderlust
-fruiting cherry tree/drunk
-after school my neighbor's backyard [kinky!]
-juicy fruit
-and then
THE WINNER! no idea.
Nice work winos! Up for another in a couple of weeks?
